Living in Oregon in March is like living with schizophrenia.
You may say, "Hey you've got it wrong Mister, you must mean bipolar," but in fact you would be the one who was wrong. You may be thinking, March is late winter and early spring, he must be talking about the wild weather swings. From the cold and clammy drear of winter to the warm sunny teasers of spring; both sprinkled amid the cloudy murk of the mud season.
While you would be sadly correct in your assessment of the weather, you would still be wrong in your assessment of my statement. I understand the difference between bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, and Oregon in March is schizophrenic.
Take the following Wiki-description of symptoms for example. Yeah, I know there are better sources, I was just lazy. Notice how it applies:
A person (or country) diagnosed with schizophrenia may experience hallucinations (in Oregon, the trees talk to the mushrooms), delusions that are often bizarre in nature (like sending rainbows laced with hailstorms and believing that people like it), and disorganized thinking and speech (the stutter-stop of micro-clime temperatures throughout the day?). The latter may range from loss of train of thought (Wait, what? I was supposed to be sunny today? Not rainy? Just make it colder in the afternoon to balance it out, alright? Yeah, and warm it up when the sun goes down. Wait, am I gonna freeze tonight? That can't be right. Where? Now I'm lost, which one?), to sentences only loosely connected in meaning (Cold wood bird trashes leaf mud in rain.), to incoherence known as word salad in severe cases (COLD WOOD TRASH BIRD MUD LEAF RAIN!). Social withdrawal (Hello? Where did you go, Spring? You don't have to be afraid of the big bad Winter - come out and play!), sloppiness of dress and hygiene (muddy overalls and beards, and the men dress worse), and loss of motivation (marijuana) and judgment (microbrews) are all common in schizophrenia. There is often an observable pattern of emotional difficulty (I'm Winter and I'm depressed.), for example lack of responsiveness (oh why bother to become Spring, I'm depressed! I'm not answering that phone.). Impairment in social cognition is associated with schizophrenia, as are symptoms of paranoia (Don't leave me for California! Here look at some sunshine, I can make it beautiful too! Just please don't leave me!); social isolation commonly occurs (haha! You stayed, now you're flooded on both sides - you're stuck with me now!). In one uncommon subtype, the person may be largely mute (I'm not bringing Spring until you apologize for what you said - Wind, I said stop blowing!), remain motionless in bizarre postures (You can't see me, I'm hiding behind my mountains!), or exhibit purposeless agitation (ah shit! I don't know - just freeze everything for days! Ice everywhere!), all signs of catatonia (defined by staring out your window for hours as you wait for the rain to stop).
I haven't blogged in a month. I haven't made much progress in a month. The warm weather of February snapped like a rubberband and the whiplash stung my fingers and popped me in the mouth. I've been buried under deadlines and downpours. The temperature has dropped and it's hard to stay motivated. Especially when I know that any day now... spring will bloom.
