Happy Birthday Bessie!

Remember this photo? It was taken the day we drove Bessie home, one year ago today.


Many times I wondered about this post. Where would we be after one year? I decided to let nature unfold, and today it hit me. The photo below both summarizes and commemorates the past year.


Happy Birthday Bessie. We love you as much as the first day we brought you home.

And here's one to grow on. May we spend many relaxing hours in you this year!

Fire Fire Fire!

The propane is connected! If a picture is worth a thousand words, what's a video worth? Here's how chilly mornings in the Airstream will likely begin. Complete with a half-groggy klutz of a fire-operator.



In the time it took you to watch the video, the little catalytic heater warmed the trailer to 10F degrees above the outside temperature. The trailer was already two degrees warmer than ambient outdoor temps but still, that's pretty fast. Just think how warm it would get in ten minutes.

Roll Credits....

Special thanks to Justin Brodersen for his gracious propane tank donation. Special thanks to Justin for the little prank of leaving the valve in the "open" position. I owe you one, buddy.


Special thanks to the guys from Stephen's Heating for safety checking the old propane connections, upgrading the system in the necessary places, and the Propane 101 crash-course.


Special thanks to this valve for not leaking propane.


Special thanks to this flare for weathering 52 years of use and still going strong.


Special thanks to Tom Hanks for suggesting I use his Castaway movie clip.

Special thanks to Jonathan Coulton for permission to use his theme song Still Alive from the game Portal. Additional thanks to JC for supplying a prototype teleportation gun. It's come in handy at least once.

Special thanks to my parents for the kind gift of the catalytic heater. I love you guys and I'm warm now.

April Noel

Santa brought the gift of heat during the long winter nights, but until today I've been unable to install it. This remarkably easy install had only two snafus.

Here's the empty gap originally occupied by a Glen Air furnace. The furnace wasn't present when we bought Bessie. Lost in transition, I guess. We're going to put the heater into the top portion of the empty space, since the heater is a little less than half the height of the gap. If we move to the North Pole then there'll be space to add another heater. I'd prefer to move south.


Of note in the above photo are the propane lines at the bottom (one for heater, and one for a fridge that may never be installed) and the weird metal thing at the top of the gap. Hard to tell from this photo but it's a very large vent that tunnels through the roof. This is good because catalytic heaters don't use fire to operate but they consume oxygen. It's important to have good air flow so you don't, y'know, die. There's a hole in the floor for the exact purpose of venting from floor to ceiling that I covered when we laid the floating floor. I will cut the appropriate hole in the floor to allow air flow again.

Here is a shot of the "chimney" from within the fridge cavern.


The catalytic heater Santa delivered is an Olympian Wave 6 (6000 BTU output - that's "British Thermal Units"). The Wave 6 didn't arrive with stands or a recess kit - you have to purchase separately. The recess kit arrived with this handy hard-paper template for cutting the recess hole.


So I cut the hole with my trusty razor blade/ box cutter/ exacto knife dealie thing.


I am amazing. Complete mastery of "cutting" skill, as seen in the above photo. I then employed my supreme mastery of "taping" skill for the photo below.


As you can see, I need to cut the right-hand side of the "cut" and "taped" paper template. I marked the area using "drawing with sharpie" skill (below).


I then decided to notch the sharpie line with my trusty razor blade in case the saw I planned to use jumped the track for some reason. I just thought it would help. To my surprise, the razor blade penetrated right through the old laminate wood like it was fortified cardboard.


So I used "roll with it" skill to continue opening the recess hole with my trusty razor blade, and saved the electricity from the power tools I was planning to use for overkill.



Never underestimate the power of a sharp blade. This applies to carpentry and negotiation.


The above photo shows the recess opening, ready for business. I would like to point out that the delaminated wood existed prior to my razor blade (see above photos) but clearly the new hole highlights the missing laminate wood. Oh well. Maybe I'll make a door that covers that.


Time to see if "cutting", "taping", and "drawing" skills were applied correctly. Does the recess mounting bracket fit the recess hole?


Yay! Party time!

Next we need to affix the recess mounting bracket to the catalytic heater. This task is also known as SNAFU #1. The task calls for holes to be drilled into the metal case of the catalytic heater in the appropriate locations to fit the screw holes of the recess mounting bracket. The instructions request the wrong size brill bit (thanks A-holes, the hole is too small) for the screws that were supplied (too large and too tapered).

In addition, the recess mounting bracket is floppy and difficult to hold in place, so the screw holes kept moving. One hole needed to be drilled three time to get the right spot, and then everything was good. Need to work on "drilling" skill. Or maybe use metal drill bits. Either would probably work better than what I did.


But it worked. Will it install properly?


Yay! Party time!

Okay, I skipped a step, namely SNAFU #2.


You can't tell from the above photo, but the propane enters the backside of the catalytic heater in an awkward place. You need to make space for it on the backside, unless you are installing the recess kit into a wall that is very thin. See?


Silly construction isn't it? I broke out the jigsaw and made multiple notch-cuts that I simply removed with a hammer and chisel. I'll probably have to clear a little more spacing for the connecting pipe, but best to cut less away than more. The propane will connect to the heater from the pipe emerging from the floor.


And heat will surely be on it's way! Here are some final shots of the Wave 6 from the exterior. Pretty good looking heater, I think. The navy-gray of the heater sort of melts into the background with the shiny grate and shiny recess bracket, doesn't it?



In an exciting new development, the propane system is scheduled to get an overhaul, which means there will be functional gas to the trailer in about a week. Stay tuned for upcoming photos of the propane tank installation!

March Madness

Living in Oregon in March is like living with schizophrenia.

You may say, "Hey you've got it wrong Mister, you must mean bipolar," but in fact you would be the one who was wrong. You may be thinking, March is late winter and early spring, he must be talking about the wild weather swings. From the cold and clammy drear of winter to the warm sunny teasers of spring; both sprinkled amid the cloudy murk of the mud season.

While you would be sadly correct in your assessment of the weather, you would still be wrong in your assessment of my statement. I understand the difference between bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, and Oregon in March is schizophrenic.

Take the following Wiki-description of symptoms for example. Yeah, I know there are better sources, I was just lazy. Notice how it applies:

A person (or country) diagnosed with schizophrenia may experience hallucinations (in Oregon, the trees talk to the mushrooms), delusions that are often bizarre in nature (like sending rainbows laced with hailstorms and believing that people like it), and disorganized thinking and speech (the stutter-stop of micro-clime temperatures throughout the day?). The latter may range from loss of train of thought (Wait, what? I was supposed to be sunny today? Not rainy? Just make it colder in the afternoon to balance it out, alright? Yeah, and warm it up when the sun goes down. Wait, am I gonna freeze tonight? That can't be right. Where? Now I'm lost, which one?), to sentences only loosely connected in meaning (Cold wood bird trashes leaf mud in rain.), to incoherence known as word salad in severe cases (COLD WOOD TRASH BIRD MUD LEAF RAIN!). Social withdrawal (Hello? Where did you go, Spring? You don't have to be afraid of the big bad Winter - come out and play!), sloppiness of dress and hygiene (muddy overalls and beards, and the men dress worse), and loss of motivation (marijuana) and judgment (microbrews) are all common in schizophrenia. There is often an observable pattern of emotional difficulty (I'm Winter and I'm depressed.), for example lack of responsiveness (oh why bother to become Spring, I'm depressed! I'm not answering that phone.). Impairment in social cognition is associated with schizophrenia, as are symptoms of paranoia (Don't leave me for California! Here look at some sunshine, I can make it beautiful too! Just please don't leave me!); social isolation commonly occurs (haha! You stayed, now you're flooded on both sides - you're stuck with me now!). In one uncommon subtype, the person may be largely mute (I'm not bringing Spring until you apologize for what you said - Wind, I said stop blowing!), remain motionless in bizarre postures (You can't see me, I'm hiding behind my mountains!), or exhibit purposeless agitation (ah shit! I don't know - just freeze everything for days! Ice everywhere!), all signs of catatonia (defined by staring out your window for hours as you wait for the rain to stop).

I haven't blogged in a month. I haven't made much progress in a month. The warm weather of February snapped like a rubberband and the whiplash stung my fingers and popped me in the mouth. I've been buried under deadlines and downpours. The temperature has dropped and it's hard to stay motivated. Especially when I know that any day now... spring will bloom.

Mammary Foam

a.k.a. The Draw Bed Part Trois

Oh the joy! Simple solutions yielding big results. If you recall from earlier posts, we simplified the bed plans and created the Draw-Bed. A wonderful solution, but still it needed a mattress...

After much internet research, I opted to undermine the U.S. economy and screw my fellow American worker out of a job by ordering our bed from Walmart. Normally not a fan of the Donate-To-China store on principle, one of my internet searches popped their line of memory foam mattresses onto the screen and it crushed the rest of the competition. It was 5 times cheaper than the 2nd leading competitor, was made of more memory foam, AND with their Ship-Free-To-Store policy, there were no shipping charges associated with my 75 lb order. Let me say that again, FIVE TIMES CHEAPER. I couldn't resist. Sorry America. I try, I really do. But to pass on a full size memory foam mattress for $130 is just stupid. The reviews were high for this product too.

It took a week. We tracked it everyday online. (we were a little excited) We picked it up at our not-so-local Walmart Supercenter, which actually isn't bad compared to most Walmarts. It's a cut above the average. The best Walmart I've ever seen was in Fargo, North Dakota. Freaking unreal in there. I felt like I was in a gourmet grocery store the place was so swanked out. What was I doing in North Dakota? Good question, but a story for another time.

It came in a box. A very non-bed-mattress shaped box. We opened the box and our bed was folded in half, rolled into a burrito, and stuffed in a sack.


It took us forever to get the canvas bag off the mattress. I think they vacuum-pack the mattress, which is foam (obviously) so when it greets the air it swells to gigantic proportions, making it very difficult to remove from a tiny little sack.


Success! Salvaged the bag too!


Yay! Look a new mattress and a new bag! Man our fingers hurt from prying that thing off!


The mattress smelled like the polyurethane blast furnace, so we let it air out and rise for a couple days. This is what it looked like immediately after box removal.


And this is what it looked like the day after. Not much evidence in the photos, so I stopped taking stop-motion of them. It was kind of like watching paint dry, and similarly the changes were noticeable to the human eye, but not to the camera. It took a few days for the mattress to off-gas the stinky polyurethane smell away.

Look, a bed on a bed!


So the next task was to cut the foam. Our plan is for the mattress to be comprised of two halves that fold into a couch by day and open into a bed by night. Or the opposite way if we become vampires.

Best advice I read online said to use an electric carving knife, and it just so happens Brie and I know someone who owns one, so we borrowed it for the task. The task took me the better part of an hour.

I laid the mattress out on the floor, unzipped it out of its protective cover, and drew my carving lines. Our dimensions call for a mattress that is 6" less wide than a full size mattress, with the length remaining the same as a full. Easy enough. I chose to cut out a strip down the center. I can't remember why now, but I had a good reason at the time. I think.

I drew the lines...


And made the cuts...


And removed the unwanted middle piece.


Overall, I didn't do too badly. I think this was the right tool for the job. The teeth of the carving knife weren't sharp enough to cut through the foam like butter, but if I man-handled the foam a little, the knife met no resistance and just did what it was supposed to do. There was very little foam wasted in the process. Here are a few images from the fallout.




Could have been worse. Thanks for the tool loan, Jes!

When Brie came home from the art studio, we laid around (layed around? leied around?) on the mattress pieces inside the house and then got too excited and hauled them out to Bessie for the official fitting.

They fit well. In the photo below, Brie is checking her phone for the current temperature and cursing at it because it's clearly saying its warmer than it is (36 F was the forecast. It's waaaay chillier than that. Prob more like 28. There was ice forming outside!).

Look at the monkey's little gorilla feet!


So yeah, I guess we need to install the heater. Anyway, moving on, the mattress is so comfortable we both find ourselves just hanging out on the memory foam. When you get on the mattress, it just swallows you. But it doesn't move. It sort of incorporates you into itself, molding ergonomically around the curves of your hips, spine, and shoulders. I don't know how we're going to get out of bed. It's like quicksand without the suffocation. I love this mattress. It might be more comfortable than the one we sleep on. Significantly cheaper and perhaps better for our backs? Time will tell if it will hold up to multiple night's sleep. More on that in the future.


I can't believe how much room there is on this bed. Like I said, it's 6" less wide (6" unwider?) than a full size mattress, but we don't even notice. Plenty of room for feet, plenty of headroom, we can even put our arms behind out heads without crowding each other, and we're not smaller than average people. I'm 5'9", and Brie is 5'7" so we're not overly large but still, look how tiny I look in there! That's 180 lbs of brawn relaxing on the bed! Plenty of room to spare!


My feet were a little cold in the chilly weather by this point. Where did I put my shoes?


The Draw-Bed also folds into a couch, as seen below. Brie's hanging out, propping her arm on the invisible future pillow. Cute profile.


And look how deep the couch is! Plenty of room to spare. Where is Brie?


Probably a three person couch if necessary.


My turn. I'm reading my invisible future book. Perhaps it's by H.P. Lovecraft? Perhaps it's about witches of old who simply had a firmer grasp upon physics than the rest of the population?


Where did I put my invisible future potential remote?


Found it. I'm now watching the invisible future 3D holographic projector (why not?) with my arm propped on the invisible future pillow.


And now instead of watching Princess Leia's hologram beg us for help again, I'm staring at the beautiful sanding job Brie performed on the mahogany ceiling.


Who's making all the racket out there? Don't make me come outta mah traylah!


And that's all folks! The mattress is cut and permanently installed inside Bessie. Once poor Brie gets a moment's rest from her dissertation, she'll cut the fabric for the Draw-Bed, sew the seams, and that will be the last of the Draw-Bed. Well, maybe we'll get sheets. Or maybe we'll just use our sleeping bags.

Stay tuned for the upcoming colors and soon-to-be-visible pillows!